Leaving - Memories of Romania

by Mihai Grunfeld

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What the Critics Say

This memoir, brilliantly rendered through the eyes of a precocious young boy, the child of Holocaust survivors, is delivered with great, but understated feeling, and without sentimentality. We soon learn what Grunfeld means by the seemingly paradoxical statement, “Both my parents returned from the concentration camps without their spouses, children, parents or siblings”—not so much through explicit reference to the experience of suffering under the Nazis, as through the narrator’s not-quite-naïve descriptions of the pathologies inherent in the dynamics of family. We read of episodes in the city of Cluj, Romania, where Romanians, Hungarians and Jews co-exist in relative peace under Communist rule but where ethnic tensions and anti-Semitism seethe, not always under the surface. There are tears to be shed here, but this memoir is not an exercise in the lachrymose. We are treated to poignant incidents, and ruminations, especially about Jewishness and identity, that are profound in their simplicity. And the book is chock full of deliciously dished up details of the quotidian from the kosher slaughtering of a chicken, through the budding of adolescent sexuality, to a growing obsession for American blue jeans.

Although Grunfeld’s parents are unable to talk about their past, the life of the family is acutely shaped by it. The narrator’s sensitive awareness of the palpable loneliness in this domestic unit, and the empty spaces in his parents’ history, as well as his probing questions, many unanswered, makes this memoir comparable in richness to the writings of Eva Hoffman, Art Spiegelman, and Melvin Jules Bukiet.
Gerald Sorin, author of Tradition Transformed: The Jewish Experience in America and A Time for Building: The Third Migration, 1880-1920.



In his touching memoir, Mihai Grunfeld takes us by the hand on a remarkable pilgrimage of survival, love, sadness, yearning, oppression and escape from post-war Romania. It is a powerful narrative in its own right, but it is the sweet, unadorned, authentic voice of the writer that makes this book utterly unforgettable.
Steven Lewis, author of Zen and the Art of Fatherhood and Fear and Loathing of Boca Raton


Mihai Grunfeld's compelling memoir offers a rich and evocative account of growing up in post-war Romania, haunted by the Holocaust, yet all the more delighted by the wonders of childhood, the intense yearning of adolescence, the immense challenge of escaping to the West. Grunfeld tells his story with the hard-earned wisdom of a man sensitive to the deeper mysteries. His book has all the charm and magic of a late-night conversation with a long-lost friend.
David Schweidel, author of Confidence of the Heart and What Men Call Treasure


A moving and lively account of growing up Jewish in Romania under the shadows of the Holocaust and Communism. Mihai Grunfeld lets readers glimpse the complexities of living in one world while dreaming of another.
Deborah Dash Moore, author of GI Jews: How World War II Changed a Generation

There was a journey from communist Romania to an unknown promise land that two boy brothers made, leaving behind parents. There is also a journey of the human spirit that steps from the heart to seek the soul. No reader leaves Leaving-Memories of Romania without remembering the eloquent road signs they have passed.
Larry Winters, author of The Making and Un-Making of a Marine


Mihai Grunfeld, whose career embodies the success of American immigration, has written a wonderful, truthful, painfully honest memoir about growing up poor and Jewish in communist Romania. Being a Transylvanian from a struggling family of Holocaust camp survivors, who did not belong to the party intelligentsia, Grunfeld’s beautifully written book addresses profound issues of class and ethnic identity in a way that other autobiographical texts written by authors from more privileged backgrounds have not. This underdog perspective is truly enlightening. Emotional candor adds to the outstanding cultural and linguistic sensitivity of this text.
Irina Livezeanu, author of Cultural Politics in Greater Romania: Regionalism, Nation Building, and Ethnic Struggle, 1918-1930


Memories create identity whereas gaps in memory leave holes in a person’s sense of self. Mihai Grunfeld is the son of concentration camp survivors. His parents never spoke of their experiences in Dachau or Auschwitz. In order to reach for a better understanding of their curtailed life and a deeper sense of his own self, Grunfeld digs back into his own childhood. In recapturing his own early life, the poignant and deeply moving picture of his parents, their post war life and the scars they bore, are powerfully presented. Grunfeld’s search leaves the reader deeply moved. A most sensitive and thought provoking book.
Samuel C Klagsbrun, MD, author of Loss, Grief, and Bereavement and Psychiatric Aspects of Terminal Illness